Are Overweight People Unhappy?

Despite the stereotype of the jovial man with the large belly, or even the smiling Buddha, overweight people are often seen as unhappy. But is this necessarily so? Do we do ourselves a disservice by dismissing them this way?

I think if we were to take a step back, we would realize that there are people of all sizes who are both happy, and not. Looking at the nig picture, we could see how much of an over simplification this really is. How many of us are really happy? And whether we are unhappy or not, how many of us can really put a finger of the source of our happiness, sorrow, pain or pleasure?

In my work with stress management and executive coaching I use the Quality of Life Inventory. This is a scientifically proven assessment tool that doubles as a coaching or counseling tool by pin pointing the sources of our happiness and unhappiness. This can really help you become a happier person, by showing you how and where your efforts should be made. One client was very unhappy with their living situation. Seeing this laid out on paper, and answering questions about the issues, allowed them to see that they were expecting their old life. Unfortunately, their old life had ended, as happens frequently in this kind of economy.

Although their current situation, being back home after years of independence, was not ideal, their unhappiness came from their expectations. They will probably never enjoy living back at home with their family, but it is now neutralized and no longer a source of unhappiness.

So yes, some people may be unhappy because they are overweight. Some overweight people may even have behaviors that contribute to their weight problems including physical and mental health issues, medications etc. Thinking that all overweight people are unhappy is just not true, and a gross oversimplification. Happiness, whether yours or someone else, is contagious though. Focus on that. Do something today to make yourself, or someone else a little bit happier. And pass it on. Next we will look briefly at how stress contributes to weight gain, or loss.

The Biggest Myth About Stress

There are so many myths surrounding stress, it is hard to pinpoint the biggest myth about stress we hear today. I heard a Doctor on the radio today talking about all the issues parents have around selecting a schools, activities, child care etc.. The Doctor was quoted as saying something like "No wonder we stressing our kids out, we are surrounded by stress". Another common myth is that stress is good, and the variant of that: I am not stressed out."

Although it is possible that one is not stressed out, most of the time I hear this in discussion of stress related issues, such as lack of sleep, lack of or too much appetite, physical symptoms of stress, and so on. I think that this is perhaps the most dangerous myth, the one we create about ourselves. What is really happening here is that we are combining denial, one of our best and most effective defense mechanisms, with our ability to adapt to almost anything as the new "normal". We have become desensitized to the level of stress we have in our lives.

This causes us to be able to sleep, but not well. Maintain our relationships, with some strain. Raise shildren, but not without stress. In fact, many of us are medicating ourselves, either with that relaxing glass of wine, or with powerful prescription drugs we get prescribed by our Doctors. Often these drugs have side effects that are worse than our symptoms were!

This brings me full circle, to what is probably our biggest myth: That stress is everywhere. This is a myth because it implies that stress is outside of us, and we feel helpless or hopeless when trying to deal with it. Stress is created by our reaction to an internal or external event or an anticipated event. For chronic pain sufferers, the anticipation of pain is often as bad as the pain itself. If we can adjust our expectations of whatever situation is stressing us out, we may be able to find it less stressful. Once we find something is less stressful, our mind can be freed up to find creative new solutions, or focus on something positive.

How about another stress tip? This tip is also completely free. It is something we all do, but we don;t do well: breathe. Breathing at about 6 breathes per minute can reduce stress, and improve your health, alleviate your physical and mental stress symptoms, and improve your performance. Breathe slowly in through your nose to a count of four or five, and breathe slowly out through your mouth to a count of four or five. Do this for about five to ten minutes in the morning, and at bed time. To really see gains do this throughout the day whenever you have a chance, especially when you feel rushed, stressed, or fatigued.

America's Most Stressfull Cities

What can you do if you live in one of Americas most stressfull cities? Although Stockton, CA is not on the list, it certainly has most of the factors that the study looked at: porr air quality ( over 20% childhood asthma rate), poor air quality, and is the center of the foreclosure meltdown with unemployment at record highs.

Although these events are considered stressfull, the real stress comes in how we react to them. Learning to create and maintain a positive emotional state can go a long way in bouncing back from stress. If this positive approach can become a habit, you can actually prevent the damage that stress does to our bodies!

Free stress management tip: It costs nothing to examine our expectations and adjust them. Sometimes the stres we experience is entirely due to oue unrealistic expectations. Commuters who get frustrated with traffic should shift their perspective. If you expect that traffic every day, you can adjust and adapt. You could get books on tape and get some value out of that commute time. I got hooked on a book series that hd me wishing I had just another half hour in the car to finish the story!

If you want help with stress, visit http://www.heartmath.org/, or email me for coaching and training opportunities.